Oh 2019, you have not been so kind to me so far…it all started out so positive. I had a great Christmas in Tasmania with my friend, I’d never been before so it was all new, albeit a bit strange, not being with my family, in England, doing all our Christmas traditions. It just didn’t feel like Christmas but it was unique and 2018 Christmas will always be held for that odd but unique one…
New Years was great with a special person. Then it just went real shitty a few weeks later…what I had with that special person has now gone to shit. Like relationships often do. Like mine often do. Oh and the day after that I lost my job. Soo, I’m in a place where I have some contacts, not many, with no job and mending the pieces of my mind and soul, yet again.
So my point is, times like this, it makes me realise how freaking resilience I am. I know people that would have gone home to the comfort of friends and family a long time ago but after everything that’s happened I haven’t even cried, that much. A bit but mostly I’ve got up each day, done the normal human things of showering, eating and tried to push on not to have a mental breakdown. Thursday night was the closest I got but I still went out, got some pasta, took a shower, watched You and went to bed at a reasonable hour so I think I’m doing okay considering.
What it’s solidified in my brain is that it’s okay if things a bit shitty in the present but as long as you make small steps to change what’s going on in your life and how you feel then things will get better and you may even end up happier as a result.
What I’ve also learnt is that it’s okay to feel shitty about things for a bit but do not stay in that place, at some point you have to pick yourself up again and keep it moving.